Your God’s Bipolar

Time for a good ol’ ramble…

I’ve been listening to the people around me and their discussions regarding family, faith, work, and politics. One thing that always comes into the conversation is God. People justify how government systems should be run, spouses should interact, jobs should be delegated; all off of their one view of God. Of course, I’m guilty of this. How can you not be, as a person who takes their faith seriously? But when does a person’s faith become crippling to their growth? When do we stop to evaluate how we viewed God as a child, then as a teen, and later as an adult? Do we allow our view points to change? Or do we become bound to paradigms and rules because they’ve become embedded in our minds as a child?

When I was a teen, I made a commitment to never close myself off to the idea of expanding my beliefs in God. I told myself it was okay to change my mind on who I believed God to be and what it meant to have guidance from a spiritual connection. A few years ago, I started referring to God as a pronoun-less entity. I never say “he” or “she” because I feel it limits who God is. We’ve placed too many roles and stereotypes on the pronouns he, she, her, him, alone. So, I don’t want to place physical limitations on God as I speak about the all wonderful presence.

Anyway, one day I asked myself, “If God was on a reality show, what type of personality would God have?” I thought of all these wonderful characteristics: enlightening, graceful, patient, forgiving, eager to experience life, supportive, trustworthy. THEN, I remembered all the ideas about God I’d been taught in the Baptist church. God is a jealous God. God will send you to hell if you don’t follow his 613 commandments (who can remember that many commandments anyway…God must’ve had a smart phone where he kept all of these rules). “God don’t like ugly.”  God doesn’t like a cheater, thief, or liar.

Now, as negative as these characteristics may be and God would have every right to not like these types of people; how loving would that make God to discriminate against others? What if God treated people the way it was explained in the church? Could you imagine? One day, you turn on the TV and see God on a reality show. Let’s say he’s a guy. Just for shits and giggles. His name’s God but everyone calls him G. His tagline would be something like, G-One day I do, One day I don’t. He’s hanging out in the kitchen, laughing and joking with his roommates, sharing his food, and the roomies are laughing about G missing the prior night’s escapades. (God was in the bed early, of course.) Then all of a sudden, someone mentions

“Mark was up drinking late last night. He was acting a fool!”

Drinking is a sin. So God’s got some fussing to do at Mark. But, even more importantly, God has discovered the Jen and Xavier hooked up. They’re not married. They’re not engaged. They barely know each other. But they had a great time, discussed their friendship moving forward, and are fine with the situation. Still, God is getting pretty irritated now. Not to mention, there was a whole group of young 20 somethings dancing all over the place to Bruno Mars and Cardi B’s latest hit. The music’s so sexually desensitized. Now, God’s contemplating why he even got involved with a show with a bunch of horny, young people living together out of wedlock. He’s got an attitude towards everyone in the kitchen. It was nice. The food was fun sharing. The atmosphere was light and peaceful, but after these new discoveries…God just can’t take it. He explodes and condemns everyone. He demands they go to their rooms and repent.

“But, G you gave us freewill,” someone whines.

“Yes I did. But I sent all of these rules and messengers and saviors to help you stay focused and not use your free will. I didn’t want to have complete control over your life, especially directly, so I hired some folks to help me do it indirectly” (God can’t have his soft loving, character assassinated).

“But. we had a good time. No one was hurt. We bonded and enjoyed being in the same house together.”

God- “You did. But, it was all in vein. You drank fresh wine made from organic berries, which is still a sin. I also thought I heard someone call out ‘Oh my God’ when they were watching the latest music videos.  You guys all know that I’m a jealous person. How dare you refer to someone else as your God? You let a Muslim in. There was a Buddhist here. No signs of Jesus coming, eh? And who knows what other infiltrators came through that door, while I was sleep. ”

“Sorry. We didn’t know so much of the things we did would bother you.”

“Well, of course not. You’re ignorant to these ideas. Maybe you should read your bibles. In fact, let’s all gather in the living room and we can study together. I love you all so much. I’m willing to cancel my entire day of plans to spend with you. We’ll go one by one and comb through all of these sins. I’m a very forgiving person. I just need you get down on your knees and confess of your horrible acts. Show you have remorse, and even possibly go into a state of depression. Maybe we can all fast together too. Being hungry will remind you of my generosities. Oh, can someone pass me the jelly please. Wait no,…corn syrup. Not good for the body. Sin.”

“I can’t stay. I’m sorry G. Sorry yall. I have to  host a sponsored event for the show today.”

“Well, if supporting the TV show that’s helped jump start your career is a priority over being with us and repenting…you can just go to hell. I’m sorry. I love you, ‘tho.”

If God was the entity we’ve been taught to fear, God would never be satisfied. I don’t want to run to the arms of an intimidating giant. I don’t want to have conversations with a being that’s closed his heart because I come to him as a lesbian. I don’t want to feel guilty if I wear prayer beads and don’t say “In Jesus’s name, amen.” I want a God that’s consoling. A God that appreciates diversity. A God that smiles at me as they watch me dance to my favorite band and lose myself in the music. I want a God that’s emotionally stable and takes the time to understand my actions. I want a God that’s well…nice. Not selfish, but enthused by the idea of many streams of religions appreciating one omnipresent power. So, you can keep your bipolar God. My God’s just fine. We get a long great. God understands me and doesn’t try to change me but loves me exactly the way I am. Thank you God!

2 thoughts on “Your God’s Bipolar

  1. I could not agree with you more on all levels. I am a former card carrying Christian and just could not stomach the hypocrisy and only good on Sunday morning. But then there was all the questions that nobody oils seem to answer with other than you need to have faith…..

    …I need and answers and experience not blind faith.

    I am finders them now and I hope you do too. You have a great sense of humor 🙂



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